What If?

Standard
I’m happy you’re happy
But
God damn it
What if?
 
What if we’d rung in sick that one day?
Stayed in bed talking rubbish
My head still resting on your chest
Your fingers running through my hair
 
What if I’d gone back to yours the night after?
Stolen your pizza like I’d said I would
Watching you play that stupid video game
Which you were losing because you were talking to me
 
What if we’d gone out for lunch together?
Everyone was saying something was going on anyway
Why did we care what they thought?
Why did we care what they’d say?
 
What if I’d stayed on the train that time?
Gotten off at your stop instead of mine
Wandered to your flat with my fingers interlinked with yours
Never gone home again at all
 
What if I’d kissed you goodbye when you stood on my doorstep?
Not let you just turn and walk away
The lazy smile you do on your face
Your eyes on the pavement
 
What if I’d gone over to you in that bar?
When you stood there smiling at me like it wasn’t an age since we’d spoken
Instead of running in the toilets to ruin my make up with tears
Then leaving as quickly as I could in stilettos and rain
 
What if I’d told you to go when you came back to me?
What if I’d never replied to that message?
What if we hadn’t spoken for hours?
What if you hadn’t broken my heart again?
 
Would you still be happy then?
Would we be together now?
My head still resting on your chest
Your fingers running through my hair
 
God damn it
What if?
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