Ode to the Smoking Ban

Why do I have to stand outside
Rain is running in my eyes
Bloody wind
Can’t get a light
Smokers everywhere in sight
I am here sat inside
Only one
There’s no-one here
Just me and my pint of beer
Behind the bar
Look at my pub
Bloody empty
Where is the flood
Of punters come from far and wide?
Oh shit yeah
They’re all outside
My Grandad used to sit in here
Sly cigarette and a pint of beer
Fought for England in the trenches
Would break his heart to see the benches
In the beer gardens full
In the midst of winter chill
Smokers sat out freezing cold
Each and every young and old
So them indoors can breathe fresh air
Wait, where are they?
There’s no-one there

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